A Simple Way to Overcome Perfectionism

by Gary Seeman, Ph.D.

"There is nothing perfect in this world." Swami Chandrasekharanand Saraswati

Perfectionism is going for refuge to a person or thing, while fantasizing they are all good. This leads to avoiding other situations and people as too scary, dysfunctional, mean or dangerous, then giving up.

If a person or thing is sometimes imperfect, they go into the untrustworthy bin. To an extent this is okay. But for someone who’s anxious or very easily scared, the bin becomes a landfill, and the cabinet holding the wonderful, perfect or admired shrinks until it’s the size of a shoebox.

“Perfect” is a concept. It isn’t real. It’s a thought paired with feelings.

You can replace perfectionism with mindful awareness of what you can do to make imperfect things and people more manageable by communicating, interacting, problem solving and persisting instead of recoiling and giving up.